What If You’re Not Burnt Out...
But You’re Frozen?
Not all exhaustion looks loud. Sometimes it’s the quiet kind — where you're scrolling for hours, feeling disconnected, like your body is here but you are not. That’s not laziness. That’s freeze.
You don’t have to feel angry to be dysregulated.
You might feel numb.
Checked out.
Floating.
Quiet.
“Fine.”
But deep down, something is aching.
This is what trauma researcher Deb Dana calls “deer in the headlights” — a hallmark of the freeze or shutdown state of the nervous system.
And if you live in a chronically ill or historically excluded body, that freeze response isn’t a failure — it’s an adaptation.
❄️ Let’s Talk About Freeze
Here’s what freeze might look like in your day-to-day:
Getting stuck in decision loops
Knowing you “should” eat but not being able to move
Saying yes when you mean no
Feeling “blank” during high-stress conversations
Starting a task 100 times but never finishing it
It’s not that you don’t care.
It’s that your system is trying to protect you.
And sometimes, the most protective thing we can do is gather in community.
🖤 Enter: BIG BEAUTIFUL B*TCH SESH
A virtual space for rage, grief, softness, and reconnection
🗓 Monday, July 21 at 5 PM PT
📍 Zoom | 💸 Free | Register here
I’m co-hosting this session with the brilliant Sam Berman — a coach, and disability inclusion expert. Together, we’re creating a space that holds both the heat of protest and the cool quiet of dissociation with gentleness, humor, and no expectations.
We’ll explore:
How to move out of freeze without shame
What to do when you feel “shut down” but still need to show up
How to use creativity, embodiment, and micro-moments to return to self
Why regulation is not about performance — it’s about possibility
💡 Mini Practice: "Turn Toward Yourself"
🧠 Ask: What’s one thing I want to feel today?
🫶🏽 Then ask: What’s the smallest possible step I could take to feel 1% closer to that feeling?
Sometimes the step is drinking water. Sometimes it’s calling a friend.
Sometimes it’s signing up for something that reminds you you’re not alone.
You don’t have to wait until you’re “better” to show up.
You just have to start with what’s real.
See you on July 21 (this coming Monday).
With care,
Lauren
xo